I love this story that Dr. Yapko talks about in this post… It might take a few seconds to get to the point… but it’s a well made point!
The Social Lives of Depressed People
By Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D.social lives of depressed people (credit below)There’s a wonderful old story of a man walking a very long road from one village to another. As he approaches the village, but still on its outskirts, he encounters a farmer from the village who is laboring in his field, cutting hay. He walks up to him and says, “I have walked a great distance to come to this village of yours. I have left my village looking for a new home, perhaps I will find it in this village. Can you tell me, how are the people in this village? What kind of people are they?”
The man in the field thought a moment before replying, then asked, “What were the people like in the village you came from?” The traveler replied, “They were uncaring, self-absorbed, cynical and unfriendly. That’s why I left.” The farmer paused before replying and then said, “I think that’s how you’ll find the people here, too.”
The traveler replied, “In that case, I’ll just move on and look somewhere else.”
A couple of days later, the farmer was again out in his field when a different man approached him and said, “My village was destroyed and the people scattered. I am looking to find myself a new home, perhaps in this village. Can you tell me, how are the people in this village? What kind of people are they?” The farmer asked, “What were the people like in the village you came from?” The traveler replied, “They were wonderful people. Loving, close, helpful, and I will miss them terribly.” The farmer said, “I think that’s how you’ll find the people here, too.”
Other people can be mysterious and painful. And, other people can be wonderful and joyful. What you find in others, no matter what your background might happen to be, is ultimately going to be a reflection of you.